


Exhaustion

by ArtsDisease



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Spoilers for the Manga, around chapter 98 and over, mentions and thoughts of suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26381320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtsDisease/pseuds/ArtsDisease
Summary: Yukio had never gotten nightmares this bad. Even inside the walls of Dominus Liminis, the actions of the past haunt his sleeping hours. Yet the one responsible is permanently tied to his body. Is there any way to remove Gehenna's most powerful demon from your mind?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Exhaustion

Yukio bolts awake up in a cold sweat. His head is throbbing, he feels as if his brain is restless in his skull. His chest is heavy and heaving, yet his heart beats relentlessly in his rib cage. He moves to get up, his vision blurring, without his glasses the dull white walls of Dominus Liminis all looked the same.

White. He was starting to despise the colour, from the crisp white lab coat he had been issued upon his arrival into the Illuminati to the all-white décor, reminiscent of a hospital even down to the smell. He fumbles around his nightstand for his glasses, his hand rests on the cool metal and brought them up to his face. He blinks a few times, letting his right eye adjust to the bright room, navigating his vision towards the clock.

4:36 am. Fuck. This is the fourth day in a row.

The crisp water flows out the showerhead, splashing onto cold tiles. Yukio peels the Illuminati-issued white pyjamas off his body, perhaps a cold shower would help. He thrusts his arm into the cold stream, checking the temperature. It sends rows of goosebumps up his arm, his hair stands on end and his fingers curl. He steps in, feeling the sharp drops roll off his skin, washing away the sweat and tiredness.

Even with the chill of the shower, his face burns hot. A constant reminder of the parasite rooted deep into his eye, into his mind. Since Satan showed himself, Yukio’s head pounded, suppressing all voices of Gehenna. An infernal choir singing insult and sin sugar-coated by harmony. The verses bounced around in his mind like the unique acoustics of a cathedral. He knew not to listen, and he usually could block them out. But they were starting to creep into his dreams. Thousands of hands clawing through his sanity, stitch by stitch they dug their nails in deep and pulled, pulling until the point where Yukio could barely distinguish what’s real and what isn’t.

Flame burns resolutely from his left eye. Although it did not hurt him, the electric feeling danced and lingered on his skin. As if tempting him to let it consume him, to burn away his flesh opening up the hive of voices in his skull. Deep shadows haunted his eyes, a greyish hue adorned the skin near the eye, exposing blue veins that ran up his face like deep blue rivers. He was embarrassed by it and attempted to hide it under an eyepatch. Although this befitted him by depriving Satan the gratification of sight into Assiah, he hated looking it.

It served as a conscientious reminder of the night in the snow. How much he hates himself. How tired he was. He wishes that he had died that night. That the shot had just killed him. He remembers Shiemi’s face, the fear in her eyes. The hiemal air and the feeling as his finger curled around the trigger of his gun. It was exhausting. He is still tired. He got out of the shower and got dressed. Lying back down on the bed. With a million thoughts racing around his head.

‘Okumura sensei!’

His glasses clatter to the ground. The taste of blood and spit was forming at the back of his throat.

Fuck… he fell asleep again.

‘Okumura sensei! You hear me?’ those words came from Shima, who was poking his head around the door.

‘Woah there! You look rough buddy. Have a bad dream or something?’ bearing his usual snide grin, eyeing up the state of the Nephilim.

The Nephilim in question, tired and irritated, shot up a scornful glance at the boy then picks up his glasses.

‘I’m fine, just tired, that’s all’ he smooths out the creases in his lab coat and joins Shima in walking to the research room.

They head through the long hallways. Dominus Liminis was busy as usual, distant chatter can be heard through the walls. They make light conversation on their walk to the research lab. Although Yuiko isn’t listening. Shima, as useful as he is to both The Order and The Illuminati, spoke nothing but utter crap. In Yukio's opinion at least.

There to greet him at the lab was a large pile of paperwork. Seems he can never escape it no matter where he goes. A sigh escapes his mouth and just as he sits down to get to work when Homare Todo appears seemingly out of nowhere.

‘Okumura Yukio, the Commander Lucifer has requested to meet with you. Please come with me now’

‘Oh aren’t you mister popular today sensei!’ came Shima’s jarring voice.

‘Renzo Shima please for once refrain from adding to the conversation’ Homare answers back, Yukio silently agrees. But a meeting with Lucifer, he wonders what it will be about.

When the door to Lucifer’s room slid open the first thing to hit Yukio is the smell. No amount of disinfectant could mask the smell of rotting flesh that omitted from Lucifer’s decaying form. He may look young and healthy, but his eyes were sunken and lifeless. He never made unnecessary movements, as if he had not the energy to do so. His lips were dry and cracked and machines sang a monotonous symphony of beeps and whirs. Death, the atmosphere in the room was that of soon death. Yukio resented Lucifer, every word out the demon king’s mouth just bled into the voices in his head. He knew that Lucifer would contently rip open his form to get to Satan as if Yuiko’s body was in the way of his true goal.

‘Okumura, sorry for the sudden call but I have something important I want to discuss.’ He inhaled sharply through his nose, as if to continue straight to the point, but changing his phasing last second. ‘Do you know why this ship is called Dominus Liminis?’

Yukio pushes his glasses up his nose ‘I would assume it's Latin, Dominus being in its nominative case meaning master and Liminis being the genitive form of limen, meaning threshold. The master’s threshold. Is that correct, commander?’ after he said these words, from the corner he could see Shima making a ‘how in the hell do you know THAT’ face. But he instead turns his attention back towards Lucifer, who seemed pleased by his answer.

‘You are indeed knowledgeable, this here is my threshold and my home, but soon it shall be our master’s’ he beckons Yukio closer, to which he complies, stepping near the sickly demons bed. The terrible smell made him want to gag, but he surpasses the feeling. 

‘Soon our father shall be back on earth. Taking his rightful place as kind of Assiah. One could say that you are the threshold in a way’ he slowly lifts a thin hand to Yukio’s face. Using an emaciated finger to slowly push back his eyepatch. Yukio wanted to push him away, to run, to hide. But he is frozen in place, with every millimetre it was moved, the louder the voices became, hollering and calling for a glimpse of Assiah. Lucifer ran a finger over his eye, moving his thumb to the pupil, and pushed.

At first, Yukio though he was just finding his pupil, but he kept on applying more and more pressure. Louder the voices screamed. He digs his thumbnail in deep. A drop of blood rolls down Yukio’s cheek as Lucifer scrapes at his eye tearing his skin apart, exposing the muscles below.. Yukio lets out a pained gasp and falls to his knees. Lucifer still pushes, the voices clambered. It was unbearable.

‘SET US FREE. RELEASE US. DROP YOUR GUARD. LET IT CONSUME YOU.’ They cried over and over and over. Yukio tries grabbing Lucifer’s arm to stop him but he is powerless in his grip. Where did he get this strength from?

It hurt so much, it was so loud. End this. End me. Free them. Free him. FREE HIM FREE HIMFREEHIMFREEHIMFREEHIMFREE-

Yukio wakes up. He sits up and squints around. The shower is still running and he isn’t fully dressed. His face is wet with tears and his eye throbs. The feeling from the nightmare lingered. Like a knife being buried deep into his skull.

He takes some medicine for his headache and just stares at the wall. He hopes not to see Lucifer today, although just a projection of his imagination. The image, the feeling, he knew is going to remain. But, it isn’t Lucifer he is really scared of. It’s himself, and all whom plague his dreams. Maybe this is another dream? Who fucking knows anymore.

Fuck. Something has to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Satan lives in Yuiko’s head rent fucking free baby. And yes, I know a lot of people don’t like Yukio very much but I just think he’s neat okay.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, kudos and comments are always appreciated.
> 
> (Also the exact translation and meaning of Dominus Liminis isn’t stated anywhere that I know. So I interpreted it in the way I thought best.)


End file.
